This is me

Hello, my name is Morgan. That's the most I ever plan to tell on this blog. I need a place to vent and to talk about things that no one seems to understand. There will be TMI moments, but they are part of me so if you don't want to read them be careful.



As I said, my name is Morgan, I am 22 (23 in a month), married to a wonderful guy. I work part-time at a doctor's office and am attending school full time online. I have 2 cats whom I love to death, and are my children for the time being. In my short time on earth I have dealt with far more than anyone would think. Most people are blown away when they hear only a small part. I doubt it will be chronological but I will try to tell most of my story within a few weeks. The basics:



I grew up in a normal middle class family. I was an accidental baby to older parents, at 36 and it being the 80's my mom was quite old. This caused me some problems later in life. My mother was also a doctor, and I grew up with a mostly stay at home dad, nanny's and at my mom's office. My brother was born when I was 4.5 and my mother was 41. He has a lot of problems and this causes a lot of strain in my family. We moved when I was 7, my Aunt and Uncle moved in with us, he was a former chef from New York and physically, emotionally and verbally abusive to me and my Autisic (though we didn't know he was then) brother, who was 3. He was also over 6 feet tall and wieghed at least 300 pounds. It went on for several years and I thank goodness he left before I hit puberty, who knows what might have happened.

(TMI)

Puberty was not good to me, I had boobs early though not as early as some. I got my first period on my 12th birthday, and my "boyfriend" dumped me. I was in 7th grade ( I was a year ahead in school btw) and had no friends, I rarely did until 8th grade. My first period was ok and they got progressivly worse. By the time I was 13 it was near unbearable, they lasted no less than 10 days, the first and last were light...the other days were far from it. I would soak through those overnight diaper like pads in literally an hour. The cramps came hard and fast from day one and I would literally be unable to move for hours. I missed school often. I almost wound up in the hospital for blood loss on several occasions, and as you can guess I was anemic. This was a horrible time in my life I will elaborate on later, I will just say I have my period once a year now but still have all my bits, if I am infertile it's not this.

(TMI over...for now)

I had a boyfriend in high school, I graduated 5 years ago....he now cell phone stalks me as he doesn't know where I live (for now). This causes me and hubby no end of grief....and some laughs honestly.



I was raped when I was 18 and went through multiple surgeries for this. (I think my overall count of surgerys is 6 now...3 oral surgeries (wisdom teeth, skin graph, and 1st molar removal), a knee arthroscopy, cryo surgery and a LEEP.) I got HPV from this and got BOTH of the possible results of this STD, will tell later! Post Tramatic Stress Disorder was the result. The United States Navy exploited this and I hate them for it...or maybe just the evil people in my state.



Things are mostly better now, I have a wonderful husband who help me with my PTSD and anxiety crap and never gets frustrated with me over it (Shit, *I* would if I were him, I'm annoying!) We have 2 wonderful cats who are helping fill my deep need to become a mommy. I almost lost my ability to have children and I feel the desire everyday. I know it's best to wait till I'm done with school and our financial situation has improved. Oh, and I recently learned that the office I work at might shut down soon. I *need* this job, they are the only place I have found that is compasionate and helpful with my back problems.

I most likely should be on disability but if my mother can't get on it for her stage 4 chronic kidney diease and inability to see at night due to lasik gone wrong then I sure can't for back issues. After complaining of pain for 2 years my mother found a chiropractor who was supposed to be AMAZING. He even did X-Rays! I'm more messed up than I thought at first. He was my hero, until we ran out of money to see him, so now I'm back to taking way to much Tramadol than can possibly be good for me.

My life is defininitly not what most people visualize for an upper middle class daughter of a doctor. But this is me and my life and maybe I can disuade some people of that fact that well off kids can't have a hell of a childhood.